iPhone Review (Part the First)
09/09/07 12:35 Filed in: Daily Urinal
Articles
iPhone Review (Part the First)
The iPhone's chief flaw is that as soon as you take it out, everyone demands that you let them "see" the device. Resistance is futile; your pleas of, "I need to check my email," or "I need to call an ambulance," go unheard. They never settle for just taking in the iPhone's seductive curves visually; eventually, all admit they must in fact hold it. As soon as you relinquish the precious thing to their care, they will proceed to defile it. They will touch it with their grubby little hands, scroll through your contacts list, even take pictures, thus slowly consuming your iPhone's precious memory! Getting the thing back is another struggle: invariably others have gathered, and each now expects to "see" it as well. Violence inevitably ensues.
Using the "Passcode Lock" feature may help, but it may just as easily enrage those wanting to fiddle with the thing. It may be best to never let it be known you have an iPhone, lest it disappear into the curious and envious mob forever. Even the faculty is guilty of such jealousy: If one appears in class, or plays one of it's cheerful little ring tones, it is sure to be stolen away, kept no longer than the very end of class!
The iPhone's chief flaw is that as soon as you take it out, everyone demands that you let them "see" the device. Resistance is futile; your pleas of, "I need to check my email," or "I need to call an ambulance," go unheard. They never settle for just taking in the iPhone's seductive curves visually; eventually, all admit they must in fact hold it. As soon as you relinquish the precious thing to their care, they will proceed to defile it. They will touch it with their grubby little hands, scroll through your contacts list, even take pictures, thus slowly consuming your iPhone's precious memory! Getting the thing back is another struggle: invariably others have gathered, and each now expects to "see" it as well. Violence inevitably ensues.
Using the "Passcode Lock" feature may help, but it may just as easily enrage those wanting to fiddle with the thing. It may be best to never let it be known you have an iPhone, lest it disappear into the curious and envious mob forever. Even the faculty is guilty of such jealousy: If one appears in class, or plays one of it's cheerful little ring tones, it is sure to be stolen away, kept no longer than the very end of class!